How Emotional Intelligence Makes Leaders More Effective | Episode #25

The most effective leaders do not simply manage people they manage themselves. 

In Episode 25 of The Designers of Change Podcast, we explore why emotional intelligence is one of the most important qualities a leader can develop and how it directly affects relationships, communication, decision making, and workplace culture. 

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotions while also understanding and responding effectively to the emotions of others. 

When leaders lack emotional intelligence, the consequences can be serious: strained relationships, constant conflict, impulsive reactions, poor decisions, and even toxic work environments. 

In this episode we discuss 

• What emotional intelligence really is
 • The dangers of lacking emotional intelligence in leadership
 • How poor emotional control damages teams and organizations
 • Common signs of low emotional intelligence
 • How to improve self awareness
 • Identifying your emotional triggers
 • Understanding yourself under stress
 • Why you should watch yourself closely and journal your emotions
 • Practical ways to regulate your emotions including breathing, pausing, and changing your self talk
 • Why sleep, perspective, and healthy conversations matter
 • How emotionally intelligent leaders manage teams
 • Greeting people by name
 • Listening and giving people space
 • Understanding workplace culture
 • Learning to step into the shoes of others 

Strong leaders do not lead only with strategy. They lead with self awareness, empathy, wisdom, and emotional control. 

Watch now and discover how emotional intelligence can make you a more effective leader. 

Like, subscribe, and share with someone who wants to lead better. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Coming up on this episode of the Designers of Change podcast, you're gonna pay attention to what it is that you're feeling in this moment, how you're feeling, how your body is reacting, and then just know that you shouldn't respond.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

When when a person, when a person or a leader lack emotional intelligence, they lack self-control.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

The designers of change is back. We are at episode 25. Can you believe that? We have been doing our thing here, and we're super proud. And today you're in for a treat because we're gonna be talking about how emotional intelligence makes better leaders. Or at least, how can leaders be more effective with the superpower, as I would put it? But before we have that discussion, we want to pay some bills because as Jemar always says, Jace has to get paid. So we want to say a huge thank you to Jace Myra Media, Mind Food International, Caribbean Gospel TV, Grace Creates, Super Letive Auto, Amanda's Kitchen, Jesse's Home Decor, SK Catering, Regional Consulting Services Limited in Cayman. Also to Mag247 Wrecking Services, uh, a huge shout out as well to the self-care bar. And we are super grateful to be on set, Mr. Wright.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

What are we saying about emotional intelligence?

SPEAKER_01 1:42

We are going to talk about emotional intelligence. And guess what? When you are a leader and you have good emotional intelligence, and by the way, emotional intelligence is the ability to control your own emotion. Solomon said something. Solomon said that a man who is able to control his or her own self is greater than a warrior that has conquered a fortified city. Yeah, what Solomon said, Solomon says, man who is able to control his or herself, or a woman who is able to control his or herself is greater than a warrior. That means, babes, the ability to control yourself, it's such a superpower that when you can control your own self, you are a superhuman being. Now, when you lack emotional intelligence intelligence, you are in a position to self-destruct. You are in a position to self-destruct. And so especially when you are especially when you are a leader, when you are a leader and you can't manage your own emotion, we have strain, yeah, you have strain relationship.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I'm so happy that you switched over and then use manage instead of control. Because the truth is we are not in control of a lot of things that happen to us. What we can manage is our responses, and that's what emotional intelligence is saying. I think we've had this discussion while we were talking about mindfulness as well. It's pretty much saying that you're gonna pay attention to what it is that you're feeling in this moment, how you're feeling, how your body is reacting, and then just know that you shouldn't respond. Because doing that is what's going to cause the strained relationships, having frequent outbursts, yes, telling people really harsh negative things, even when the things are true, if you don't know how to coin it, if you don't know how to say it, you can rub people the wrong way, and then you're gonna be in a lot of trouble.

SPEAKER_01 3:49

I think, babes, when when a person, when a person or a leader lacks emotional intelligence, they lack self-control, true, they can't manage their own emotion. It leads to impulsiveness. True. And when you when you are impulsive, we are everyone, if you are listening to us or you are watching to us, all of us, we know someone who is impulsive, and probably you are impulsive, babes. When you are impulsive, you make poor decisions. If you are impulsive, you will make poor decisions. I've never seen somebody who is not impulsive, who never make poor decisions. Because when you are impulsive, you don't think through your decision making, and you make things that are rush, you make things that are rush, and guess what? Many times you may create more mayhem than what's necessary, and so if you are a leader, if you are a person and you are you you lack emotional intelligence, you are going to make poor decisions, you are going to become impulsive, and guess what? In you are not only going to destroy yourself, but you are going to destroy other people, especially if you are a leader and you are leading an organization, you are leading an institution, whatever it is that you are leading, if you are a husband, if you are a wife, if you are a parent, whatever it is that you are leading, if you are impulsive, you are going to destroy yourself, you are going to destroy your home or family, whatever it is, you are going to destroy it. And guess what? When you destroy something, you are not going to create an effective legacy behind. And so emotional intelligence is very effective.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Absolutely, absolutely. Now you mentioned some really key pointers there about if you lack it, right? Um, this is the end result. But you know, I also want to mention if you have emotional intelligence, then you're going to show up in the space differently. Usually, people with with better emotional intelligence, they have great relationships. Not only have great relationships, but they're actually more healthy because they're conscious of how they are eating, are they exercising? They say they usually are more creative, they're more focused, right? They're not anxious all the time. It's because they have adapted a way of life that they manage what they are doing. They don't watch everything on TV that's gonna take them off, they don't respond to every text that's gonna drive them mad. You know, they know what to leave and walk away from. People who are emotionally intelligent also understands that guess what, we're all seeking the same thing. Yeah, at the end of the day, we're all human beings, we want to be respected, we want to be loved, and so there's no need for superiority or flexing our muscles or you know, trying to bring people down. You show up different, it's it's a it's a different way of operating, and so emotional intelligence is required if you are to build anything sustainable, it it is because we we we have seen it because I just put it if you are going to build anything that is sustainable, emotional intelligence is required.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

No, we have seen leaders who lacked it and they have created toxic environments. So if you are a leader and you are listening to us, if you lack emotional intelligence, you are going to create a toxic environment because a person who lacks emotional intelligence, they are usually a lot of outbursts, and then in the in the process they become abusive sometimes, and so you can go sometime in organization and you see leaders, they are shouting on top of their voice, they are screaming across the department. I remember one time we I was working at a at a it was it was what they call in Jamaica a medium-sized company, and the two founders they were toxic. And sometimes when it when in the morning, sometimes the two founders they would cuss each other, they would shout across, they would shout across each other office. You are you are the fool, and they they would they would shout at each other, and these are the two founders of the organization, and I can tell you in that company it was so toxic because they would go at each other in front of everybody, and it it doesn't matter if there was a client in that office space, they would go at each other and they don't care, they just go at each other, and so that office space become extremely toxic because there were no boundary, there were no level of professionalism, there were no there was no level of self-control because that was trickling down from the leader, both of them they have they have in the I I didn't know at the time, but now I know they lack emotional intelligence and they were over a period of time, I think they become abusive to the star. Many people left, including myself, because the workplace becomes very, very toxic. And so, if you are a leader and you lack emotional intelligence, the ability to manage or see your own emotion, then you are going to create a toxic environment for your people.

SPEAKER_00 9:29

Absolutely, and nothing can grow in that kind of toxicity. In fact, when the people do resign, when they leave, whatever the case is, they're leaving so hurt and broken. You'd be surprised. And then, you know, you would hope that they go on to better environments, but they don't always do, and so we have to be mindful of those things. But you know, we want to dive into you know how to improve our emotional intelligence after the break. But let's stop here so that we can have an even better discussion after this. They can stay on the money. How does EI create more effective leaders? And that's something we need to hear more of. But before we continue that discussion, we first want to say a thank a huge thank you to our sponsors, Mind Food International, Jace Myrie Media, Super Lative Auto, Amanda's Kitchen, Grace Creates, the Self Care Bar, Mag 24 7, uh Wrecking Services, Regional Consulting Services Limited in Cayman, Jesse's Home Decor, and Caribbean Gospel TV. So, Mr. Wright, we we were speaking about um you know how our leaders create that toxic environment that actually produces abuse that cannot produce growth. Yes, it's chaotic, nothing grows in the environment. But how do we really improve emotional intelligence?

SPEAKER_01 11:28

I think the first one, it has to be self-awareness, yeah. Because if you are not aware that your your emotion, you can't manage your own emotion, then you can't really find it. Because if you don't know you are you have a problem, you can't fix it. Yeah, you can't fix a problem that you don't know that you don't know. Absolutely. And so you have to first, I you have to first have self-awareness. As we said before, you can't fix a problem if you don't know.

SPEAKER_00 11:59

If you're not aware of it, but here's another thing: there's a bigger matter here. What if the person is not even open to feedback? How are you even going to know what's going on?

SPEAKER_01 12:10

True, that's that's a very good question, and that's a very difficult because there are some you have many people who are they are not reachable. Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 12:19

They are not reachable because they won't accept it.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Yeah, in my um culture, the the cult the the company that I was telling you about with the two directors, it was a small business, the two directors nobody could reach them because they were not held accountable to anybody, and there are many organizations, there are many small businesses that they don't have any board to report to, and they were very toxic, and nobody could see it, nobody could tell them that unless you you would have exited the company, and so in in cases like this, sometimes those people wreck what they have started, and today that that organization is not around, and I probably can't tell you I've carried a leave before that company went down, and probably they have self-destruct their own organization. Um, how do we reach these people? I think you have to reach them in love, yeah. You have to talk to them gently, you can't have a direct approach to it. You can't have a direct approach to it.

SPEAKER_00 13:21

Because they did they'll dismiss you or they'll get upset or offended, right? But you know, piggybacking off of what Mr. Wright just said about self-awareness, there's another thing that would follow. If you are aware of yourself, then you should know what triggers you. You should know what is triggering that negative behavior, that negative pattern. Yeah, what makes you explode, yeah, what makes you shut down, what makes you repeat these things that are not favorable, you know, they're putting you at a disadvantage. So again, you would have to understand these things, and then there's something that I do quite a bit, and it's something that helps me along my journey, and that's I journal my emotions. Yeah, even if they don't last for a long time, journaling them makes me feel better.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

That's that's true. So journal your emotion. The first thing needs self-awareness, then know what's trigger you, journal your emotion, and then here's one that you like to talk about when we're training. You say count to ten.

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Count to ten. So as simple as it is when when when you are being when you are triggered, if you count to ten, it can diffuse a lot of fear.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Yeah, man, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

There are many people in prison today, they are not bad people, they are good people, but but they get caught up in the moment. They got lost in that moment. They were provoked beyond where they could manage their own emotion. And so if you can count to 10 and think about it, then that your emotion will die down. My grandmother used to say, small pot boils quick. And so if you learn to work on your emotion, you will you will be able to develop more depth. So you are not easily triggered.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

But all of us, we have that one thing that push our buttons, push your buttons, and and if you're not careful, you're finding that you have a result that you never really wanted, but because you could not manage yourself, you ended up going down a road you didn't want to go in the first place, right? So you have to be very careful. Understand too that not everything needs a response, and you can control certain things. If there's a particular personality type that really grinds your gears, maybe less engagement with that kind of person would help you. Um, so you have to be careful. Also, breathing, this is something we teach. We do workshops with this thing, we're teaching people how to breathe. Would you believe that? Don't we all know how to breathe? Not necessarily. Yeah, deep breathing exercise are one key way to actually diffuse those negative emotions and to reprogram your brain. So all those chemicals that would start, you know, acting up, right? Or being produced in the midst of you being anxious, worried, fearful. If you do some deep breathing exercise, what you are doing right there and then is rewiring your brain, and then everything just starts calming back down.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

And another another one in in terms of how to manage your emotion and how to get better at it is to talk to the right people.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

Yes, the right people.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

Yeah, you need the right people in your corner. You don't want someone who'll egg you on. Because when we were when we were growing up, I used to have a friend, he gets into a lot of problems. Not because he wasn't a good a good child, but because the the the the the information that you receive from those who were egging egging on you. And so if you have someone in your corner that eggs you on and don't necessarily tell you the truth, then you are going to self-destruct. And so when you have these emotional outbursts, if you can talk to the right person, someone who can who is not emotionally attached to the problem, somebody who can who can learn to diffuse the problem sometime. And so when when you when you diffuse that problem, you are in a better state of mind to learn how to do that particular problem that you are dealing with. So you need to speak to the right person, not those who are going to egg you on, but somebody who can help to diffuse that emotional time bomb that absolutely that's happening internally.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

Yeah, you know, this is such a powerful discussion, and I believe that as we go along, emotional intelligence is going to be taking up more space because people need to understand how to manage, you know, how we respond to things. How do you make sure that you know you remind your body that it's safe because a lot of us are going through things our trauma, experiencing trauma that we've experienced for so long, it's so long ago, but we re-experience it every day because we our emotions are not regulated. But Mr. Wright, final thoughts on this as we wrap up.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Laugh more.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yeah, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 18:29

Laugh more. Yes, don't be tense. Too many times we see we we we see people go through life, they are puffed up like an angry porcupine. You don't want to go through life like that. You are too hungry, relax, yes, breathe a little, yes, laugh a little, yes, live a little, yes, and so if you do that, then you can learn to diffuse your own emotion, and then you will become a better person because we like to be around people who are calm, not chaotic.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

And for those leaders who want to create the right environment, you need to give your you need to give people space so that they can speak, so that they can talk through things. Learn to put yourself in other people's shoes. I'm talking about from the leader's perspective who want to create that environment. So you're going to create that environment as a leader for people to manage your own emotion. You want to give people space to speak. Don't be judgmental and and be and create a calm environment and so that you can have a better environment in which to lead. Because if you can't manage your emotion, you are you are frequently outburst, it's going to lead to chaos in your own organization, it's going to destroy from within. And so you don't want that. You want to create a calm environment, you want to create an environment that will produce more leaders. And guess what? When you have an environment that is emotionally intelligent, productivity goes up. People want to stay at the environment in that company. That environment is no longer chaotic or toxic. And so when you have better, when you are better able to manage your emotion, you are able to lead better and you are able to leave a better legacy behind.

SPEAKER_00 20:26

Absolutely, absolutely. This was a really great discussion on emotional intelligence, superpower, if you will. Um, and so we we're so grateful to have this platform to be able to share with you guys. We want to say a huge thank you to our sponsors, as per usual, uh, Mind Food International, Jace My Rim Media, Super Lative Auto, uh, Amanda's Kitchen, Grace Creates, Jesse's Home Decor, SK Catering, Caribbean Gospel TV, the Self Care Bar, Regional Consulting Services Limited in Cayman, and also Mag247 Wrecking Services. We are grateful. Go check us out on YouTube, subscribe, comment, like, share all the platforms so we can get more people to know that we should be more mindful. Stick and stay for the next episode on Designers of Change.